


The Jonas Noah Vasquez Guide on How (Not) to Dream

by b43b3n



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Chris P is both awful and the best, Cute, Dream Sex, Dreams, Exes, F/M, Hook-Up, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Lets talk about sexuality, M/M, Nightmares, Partying, Sexuality, Sharing a Bed, jonas' perspective, just a bit of dick sucking, thoughts, wow i wrote a fanfic wtf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 05:14:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9163699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b43b3n/pseuds/b43b3n
Summary: "The Jonas Noah Vasquez Guide on How (Not) to Dream" is the Best-seller must read for any teen who is confused and struggling with the complexities of relationships and sexuality. Featuring sections on:- Intro - The Consequences that Meaningless Hook-ups have on Relationships- Remarks on Fucking-Dickhead Penetrator Chris- The Benefits and Drawbacks of Vivid Dreaming- Wake Up from the Nightmare that is Reality!- The Potentials of ‘Platonic’ Physical Intimacy as a Remedy for Emotional Pain- Subconscious Thoughts About Getting It On With Your Best FriendAs well as many more!"Wait, I’m in love? Since when? I’ll just let it be because I love him. I love him I love him I love him. I LOVE ISAK VALTERSEN!!!! and I know he loves me back. Oh, and bonus: kissing him is really fucking hot."





	1. Fictionally Kinda Gay

**1// Intro - The Consequences that Meaningless Hook-ups have on Relationships**

 

It actually hurt Jonas quite a bit when he heard that Eva had hooked up with Penetrator Chris, but because the world in reality was actually quite anticlimactic, he discovered that life just went on. The disappointment of his girlfriend cheating on him and then them breaking out was balanced out now that he could hook up (or at least attempt to hook up) with pretty much any girl at a party. He was back in the game.

Okay if he was honest with himself it took him awhile to get over Eva, but no matter as it was almost a comfort to know that Eva was also taking her time to move on.

“JONAAAAS” she would call out to him when she was shit faced at parties. “BABY I MISSED YOU”

He would hug her back, tell her “Yeah it’s good to see you Eva” and pass her on to Sana or Noora. How lucky it was that Eva had two friends who chose not to get drunk at parties.

One week it was “Jonaaas I love you, do you still love me?”

“Okay… oh. Of course I do Eva, you’re a really good friend, I love my friends… ah! Here’s Noora why don’t you tell her about it”

The next week it was “Jonaaaaas it was my fault that we broke up it was Isak, he was … he was uh… a snake! because he was jealous, he did it”

“Here how about you sit down, you look like your about to pass out” He looked around the room and managed to make eye contact with Sana. He smiled excruciatingly at her, to get her attention.

_“huh?”_ she frowned back at him. Jonas pointed down to Eva and tried his best to make a concerned face. Thankfully she got the message and came over to make sure Eva was okay.

**2// Remarks on Fucking-Dickhead Penetrator Chris**

 

Shortly after that particular encounter Eva calmed down a bit at parties. It was nice to see her doing her own thing, hanging with her friends, hooking up with boys from school. Except, well, it wasn’t cool when she was with Penetrator Chris. Fuck that guy and perfect fuckboy smile.

Jonas couldn’t stand him, he just…

Ugh.

Jonas didn’t really have a proper reason to hate him except the whole Eva thing.

Okay maybe Chris wasn’t that bad, he was chill, he was generous with his money (and alcohol), and at parties the really hot 3rd year girls would talk to Chris and if Jonas stood close to him then they’d talk to him too. Logic showed that Chris was cool, in fact he was so cool that even Isak who was adamant that he hated him (and in particular “the way he treat girls, wtf, he just uses and uses and uses them”) was now best buds with him.

_Actually fuck that I change my mind. Chris was key player in ending my relationship with Eva and now my best friend seems to be more interested in being friends with him than with me._

**3// The Benefits and Drawbacks of Vivid Dreaming**

 

If there was one thing you had be friends with Jonas to find out about him, it was that he was an extremely vivid dreamer. He had dreams that he remembered almost every night; sometimes they were reflections on his daily life, other times it was some random adventure like ‘teaming up with Pope Francis to use top to fight evil Keira Knightley’, once he had dreamed the entire Bee Movie before it had even come out.

_Okay there is a possibility that that one isn’t true, I might have dreamed that I dreamed it._

You name it, Jonas had dreamed it (or could dream it, probably) and yes, maybe his dreams featured dope and/or sex more often than not but did that really matter in the end?

With vivid dreams came a small (large) amount of sleep talking and moving around but unfortunately also nightmares as well. Nightmares were shit, but Jonas had trained himself to wake up from them

* _Most of them._

**4//** **How (Not) to Wake Up from the Nightmare that is Reality**

 

The ice caps were melting and Jonas was very aware of it. How could he not be when the corridors at school were being drowned in the polluted brown water of the Ganges River that had burst its banks.

_Stay calm. It’s a dream. Find a way out._

Jonas was not afraid… yet. He waded towards the door but the corridor just kept getting longer and longer without the door ever getting closer. The body of Miss S, his social sciences teacher floated past him, bloated and disgusting.

_Ew that’s disgusting. Find another way out_

He turned around to go the other way but at the end of the hall the water was pouring in. Water? It was more like sludge now. It rose up to his waist, freezing and heavy.

_I am logical, dreams are not._

When Jonas looked up he saw that the ceiling above him was made of thick, clear glass. Kids played there with a football that Jonas just knew was made by slave labour. Hordes of people unaware of what was happening beneath their feet walked the street, dropping their rubbish in the gutters. McDonalds wrappers and empty cola bottles piled up over him, blocking out the sun.

The muck had now come up to his chest; it made it hard to breathe.

_Maybe it’s time to wake up now_

But he did not wake up. Instead the layer of rubbish above him grew thicker until the faint light that made it through to him was tinted red like it was coming through a stained glass window depicting a very gory interpretation of the crucifixion. Jonas’ ability to differentiate between dream and reality was diminishing as the terror of the dream grew.

_I can’t believe that we torture the third world like this with our pollution._

In Jonas’ mind it seemed that real people had been right here before. People died like this and he would die here too. His heart was torn and gouged by the injustice of it all. Impossibly dark, the muck was still rising around him and cutting his world off at his shoulders.

_‘wake up’_ he commanded himself. “wake up” he said it out loud.

If Jonas was not convinced that he was about to drown he would have found it almost amusing that he was not whisked away into consciousness as he expected.

_I WILL WAKE UP NOW._

He didn’t. Beneath him he could feel the sludge harden like cement, trapping his feet, his legs, and his chest. Jonas yelled and raised his arms before they were trapped too. His hands clawed at the glass above him. The muck was still rising.

“Joonnaaas” it taunted him, it whispered into his skin “JoooNNNAAAaas”

He screamed at it in reply

“JOoonnAAAAAAAS” the muck shouted into his mouth and up his nose “JONAS!” it shrieked into his eyes and ears. Oh god it was in his throat and lungs, it was in his bloo-

**5// The Potentials of ‘Platonic’ Physical Intimacy as a Remedy for Emotional Pain**

 

“Jonas!” It was Isak, shaking him awake.

Jonas sat up sweating, his soul hurting like a bitch with every breath he ripped from the air.

_‘??????’ ‘!!!!!!’_ said Jonas’ brain.

Isak was perched on the edge of his bed, hands grasping onto his shoulders. On the floor was the thick mattress Jonas dragged out when he had friends staying over. Tonight it had been made up to accommodate Isak, although in the present moment the sheets and blankets looked like a snapshot of chaotic whirlwind.

“Jonas are you okay? You were freaking the fuck out in your sleep”

_Isak’s lips are moving. Why is that? What is she doing? Oh. Oh wait, she’s speaking… speaking…._

Isak looked at him expectantly, concern showing on his face.

_Did she ask a question? … oh I shoul- what should I reply.._

“Yup” He squeaked out

_Now smile._

Jonas grinned widely which did not suit him at this hour, it made him look like a mad man.

“Honestly Jonas? You were screaming. Loudly. That is not normal, even for you and dreams. I thought you were going to die”

_I’m going to die, she just said so._

  * _Death_
  * _Pollution_
  * _Muck_
  * _Brown_
  * _River_
  * _Rubbish_
  * _Water_
  * _Cold_



_These are words I can use to… explain the???_

_… Dream._

  * _Poverty_
  * _Fear_
  * _Death_



_I had a nightma-_

_Hang on ISAK ISN’T A GIRL. HE’S A HIM._

Jonas stared blankly at Isak. Most unaware that his thought process was actually completely private, believing that Isak was well aware of his confusion.

“Bro” Isak snapped his fingers in Jonas’ face. “What happened”

Suddenly Jonas’ eyes opened wide, petrified. He had already been hit with the discomfort of waking disorientation and now he was being pummelled by the haunting terror and injustice of the nightmare.

_Oh my god OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGOD. Calm down. Breathe. Be chill, it’s a dream and it’s over and now I’m answer Isak calmly and confidently._

“I was drowning in pollution” To him the words felt faint and weak “I couldn’t wake up even when I was dying I couldn’t wake up” Isak’s hand rubbed his shoulder. “Normally I can wake up”. It felt almost silly now that he said it, to be this shocked and thrown off by an everyday dream of drowning and dying.

_I still feel like shit. It still feels real. Because… because.._

“Holy shit Isak its real I saw a documentary about it all and people were dying and the ice caps were melting and the sacred river Ganges and it’s toxic and polluted and I watched it in social science class.” He spoke unreasonably quickly. “There are albatrosses filled with plastic and they drown and-“

“Jonas, it’s just a dream, it’s just a film. You need to calm down a- Bro are you crying?”

“No.” Jonas reached up and touched his finger tips to his cheeks. They were very wet. “Okay maybe a little bit”

Jonas was upset that he was upset. He was upset that he hadn’t been able to wake up. He was upset that he was crying

He lay back down but now the fucking documentary Miss S had shown them was filling his brain, every gruesome image threatening to brand itself permanently into his mind. He started breathing erratically and then stopped and tried to breathe evenly but it felt like he was beginning to hyperventilate.

“Hey man, it’s gonna be okay” comforted Isak. Jonas looked unconvinced.

“I’m being such a sissy”

“Yes, but that’s okay man, I’m only going to tell all of our friends on Monday” That cracked a small smile.

“Fuck you Isak”

“Now that is some bad language Jonas, you’re so awfully shook up. Do you know what you need right now?”

“Weed?”

“No, no, you need bro cuddles!” Isak grinned and flopped onto Jonas, punching the air right out of his lungs.

“No piss off! Ow Isak your so bony, get off!!!” Jonas huffed, but just like that the nightmare was pushed to the edge of his mind and he could think without panicking and confusion. 

Isak wriggled off him and made several attempts to get comfy on the single bed. Jonas ended up facing Isak and wrapped tightly in his arms, his head was tucked neatly under the others chin.

“There, there, it’s going to be okay” Isak said mock-patronizingly and lightly ran his fingers through Jonas’ hair, getting a quiet, happy _‘hmmm’_ in response.

Barely seconds later Jonas suddenly spoke up again. “Oi this is so gay”

“No! It’s bro cuddles, no homo”

“No homo.” He confirmed

Where had Isak even come up with this idea of ‘bro cuddles’? It was absurd, counter cultural, but it was quite comforting to be held after a nightmare so he was definitely on to something good.

Sometime later the blond spoke up “Jonas?”

“Yes?”

“Do you ever think about death?” He tried to be serious but a small laugh in his voice gave away that he was teasing.

“Fuck off Isak”

They drifted off to sleep then, their breaths slowing and their eyes fluttering shut.

**6// Subconscious Thoughts about Being Sexually Active with Your Best Friend**

 

Jonas felt lips press a soft kiss to his forehead and rest there, then another kiss and another. He opened his and gently pulled away to see Isak smiling sweetly at him.

“Oh, hey” He said

“Hey baby” Isak said it like it was the natural thing in the world and really it was. It was good and perfect and right. Jonas couldn’t stop himself from smiling or stop himself from leaning up to peck Isak’s lips. The blond poked out his tongue, causing him to grin and… giggle?

“Jonas you are adorable!”

“whaaaat” they shared a quick kiss.

“You’re so cute! Who couldn’t have expected that from someone with your big scary eyebrows” Isak teased with honesty.

Jonas wiggled his eyebrows “who me? Cute and adorable? Really?”

“yeah” and another kiss, this one was more lingering, impossibly sweet.

“I’m a bit offended by you. I’m not adorable, I’m hot.” Jonas joked, and then in English he said “I’m not cute, I’m sexy”

“You think?” he smirked.

“Yes!”

They kissed passionately and holy heck, Isak’s lips were soft and perfect, Jonas was thankful to only Jesus but Allah and Buddha too that he could have this moment as they kissed like their lives depended on it. Cold, confident fingers crept up his chest, lifting the corner of his shirt and that touch was welcomed.

Isak pulled the shirt off him and Jonas used the opportunity to push Isak down and straddle him, tugging the top off the other. Gently, he realized that his was a dream and that for some crazy stupid reason they were not in love in the real world.

_Wait, I’m in love? Since when? I’ll just let it be because I love him. I love him I love him I love him. I LOVE ISAK VALTERSEN!!!! and I know he loves me back. Oh, and bonus: kissing him is really fucking hot._

Back down for a kiss he leant and then kissed his way down Isak’s neck. He chose a spot just above his collarbone to nip and suck at.

Isak sighed in his pleasure.

Encouraged, Jonas moved further down, he grazed his teeth over the boy’s nipple. A cliché move, but a cliché move for a reason.

Isak moaned. He actually fucking MOANED.

_Jesus this is looking to be a sex dream on steroids, Isak never moans when he’s hooking up with girls._

Going down on girls was Jonas’ speciality, he’d never gone down a guy before but really, how different could sucking dick be?

It turned out that actually Jonas had no idea what he was doing, but he awarded himself 100 points for ‘giving it a go’ and several thousand more on top of that because Isak had still most certainly enjoyed it.

_This is a great dream_

Dream Isak was not taking any of the bullshit about him being just a figment of Jonas’ imagination and began to perform the same move on Jonas, just so much better. At one point as the tension was building blissfully he paused and looked up at Jonas, his pupils were blown wide, his hair was delightfully messy and-

_Holy shit. He is so fucking hot. Geez I could spend the rest of my life with Isak and I’m not just thinking that cos he’s sucking my dick like a pro…_

Flashes of memories that didn’t quite make sense in real life flittered around the edge of his mind. He saw himself falling in love, having a first kiss, going on a date, laughing together.

_I have a whole life of this, of family dinners, holding hands and having hello and goodbye kisses._

_I love him, he loves me. He’s perfect and I feel wanted and-_

Jonas woke up.

_Fuck. Come back. Where’s my orgasm, huh?_

**7// Thoughts on Having Dreams where the Feeling Lingers**

 

Jonas was not pleased to have been woken up, but Isak was still curled up around him so that was okay.  It was weird, he thought, to be able to be so close to someone in a dream and not in real life. Obviously he wasn’t into Isak that way, but the feeling lingered.

_Or maybe the feeling is lingering cos I have a hard on._

Faced with a difficult situation, he contemplated his options. Jonas could think of something disgusting that would be a major turn off, like naked grandmas or something, but he didn’t really want to risk associating his love for Isak (platonic and whatever the fuck else he felt tbh) with naked grandmas. Or on the other hand Jonas could just get himself off, which obviously he would have to leave the room to do so because Isak was currently sleeping on him. Getting up would mean having to get past the obvious, oblivious obstacle.

In the end Jonas decided on the latter and managed to inch his way out of Isak’s grasp without him waking up. He slipped into the bathroom and locked the door behind him, in the mirror he saw that face was red, eyes were puffy from crying but also bright like he’d just downed three cans of Redbull.

_Ha-ha I’m such a mess._

Jonas dropped his pants, closed his eyes and trailed a hand down to his erection. He went about his business surprisingly quietly, only letting out a small (sizeable) groan when he came. He cleaned himself up with toilet tissue and flushed it away. He washed his hands and went back into the bedroom. Isak had woken up while he was gone.

“Where’d you go bro?” he asked.

“I just took the biggest dump of my life”

_Wow, I’m so charming._

“No! How big?” Isak squidged over to let Jonas back into the bed.

“This big” Jonas held his hands just slightly over a foot apart.

 “I call bullshit, that’s as big as my dick”

_Your dick isn’t anywhere near that big._ _I know this._

“Okay okay, that makes us both liars”

“You think I’m lying?”

“Yes you loser”

As soon as Jonas’ head hit the pillow Isak’s limbs invaded his personal space. Jonas pushed back at him until it was him cuddling up to his friend; his head was comfortably resting on Isak’s chest.

_I had a dream I loved you (and had sex with you) and you really don’t need to know that. I know how this goes, we’ll wake up tomorrow and never mention how we were cuddling again because we are sooo not gay. Life will go on and we are best friends but every now and then I’ll look over to you when the light catches in your hair or there’s a smile in your eyes or some other corny shit and I’ll choke up a bit... or something else. Whatever._

_Fuck I’m so self aware._


	2. Non-fictionally Quite Bi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we find that:  
> -Magnus is sexually attracted to a school subject  
> -There is a reason not to invest yourself in Dream Sex  
> -Penetrator Chris is not the worst person in the world- that's actually someone else.  
> -ISIS is still a very real threat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! here it is, the second part of the fic! It turned out much longer than I expected which I'm really sorry about but I hope its still an enjoyable read.

**Part 2**

 

**8//The Discovery that Magnus is Sexually Attracted to a School Subject.**

 

_ Some weeks later. _

Isak had been off lately, it was concerning to the whole group. He’d been distant and unfocussed most of the time. Occasionally he was still engaging with group like normal, but Jonas noticed that he would easily slip into a grump. He’d pushed Mahdi in his anger just last Friday! Now someone in school had started a rumour that Isak was gay which was pissing the kid off a lot even though it hadn’t spread very far at all. Jonas chose not to talk about any of the rumours to Isak. 

_Way to play on his insecurities school._

Right now, however, Isak seemed fine. He and Magnus were arguing over what was the best science. Isak was arguing for Biology and Chemisty and Magnus was arguing for Physics.

“Physics is so boring compared to Biology, I can’t believe I spent first year taking a class pretty much only taught me how fast rocks are going to fall off buildings” Isak debated.

“No, Physics is so interesting. What about Black Holes and general relativity, string theory and infinite alternate universes. Physics is sexy!” Magnus was waving his hands everywhere as he spoke.

“Magnus you think that everything is sexy, but fine, infinite alternate universes are cool”

“Ha! See physics _is_ sexy, it’s cool whether it’s complex or if its Newtown’s laws.” Magnus cheered

_They’re both wrong .There is no science which is cool, let alone ‘sexy’. Why the hell would you call anything to do with school sexy. That’s just fucked up man. History is cool, Norwegian is cool, Ethics is cool. Okay Ethics is sexy, but Magnus is still wrong!_

“Newton’s laws were the worst thing of my life!” Isak said.

Jonas made eye contact with Mahdi who rolled his eyes and went back to scrolling through his phone.

_Do they know that me and Mahdi are here too? Back when it was me, Isak and Eva it wouldn’t be like this. Hmmnn that’s mean to think about my friends here._

“Yeah, well, Chemistry is witchcraft” The arguments were deteriorating. “It’s only good if you want to make meth to sell so you can make money so that your family will have something when you die of cancer”

Jonas laughed at that.

“Hey Magnus look at this” Mahdi shoved his phone toward the bickering pair. Something that looked like a twitter screencap was on the screen.

Isak read it out. “Isaac Newton died a virgin” he leaned closer to see the smaller writing of a comment on it “that’s what you get for inventing calculus pwussy boi” He threw his head back and laughed.

Jonas joined the laughter but it caught in his throat when he looked at Isak.

_Fuck. He’s gorgeous and funny. I knew this was coming and I was not prepared._

“Attracted to Physics, Pwussy boi!!!” Cheered Mahdi at Magnus

“Pwussy boiiiiiiiiiiiiiii” yeah-boi’d Isak.

_Lol what even is oxygen? I don’t know because Isak takes my breath away._

Magnus pushed Mahdi over and they started play fighting. Jonas let them, it wasn’t Isak so it was fine. Instead, Isak laughed and laughed and laughed.

_Marry me please_

**9// Why You Shouldn’t Invest Yourself in Dream Sex**

That night Jonas dreamed of Isak again.

There was skin on skin and he wasn’t sure how he’d gotten here, pressed up against a wall, mostly undressed, and making out with a similarly undressed Isak.

_Back again! A dream hook up with Isak that I should leave and wake up from. Once is enough or I’ll just get attached in real life and that will suck._

But Isak had his tongue in his mouth, his hands in his hair and a boner pressing against his thigh. His eyes were dark with lust and that went straight to Jonas’ dick.

_Well last dream I woke up before I finished so I’m owed in this one. I’ll stay. It’ll be fiiiiiiiiine._

Because he was part of Jonas’ dream, Isak knew exactly what he wanted. He pulled Jonas over to the bed and climbed on top of him.

_That’s very forward. Woohoo!_

Isak ground his hips onto Jonas’

_Oh, sweet friction. Friction like this should be given sainthood._

The blonde removed his final items of clothing and helped Jonas out of his boxers. The dream skipped around the two of them, disrupting the narrative with moans and groans and curse words. One moment all Jonas could sense has Isak’s handing grasping onto his dick, the next moment he was trying to stare into the blonde’s eyes but he just couldn’t meet them.

_This is so unlike Isak_

“You’ve been worried about me lately”

Jonas nodded. _This is the first time he’s spoken._

“I’m sorry I worried you, I had a lot on my mind”

“What babe?”

_How weird is that, that it feels wrong to call Isak ‘babe’._

Isak’s words were well picked “I can’t stop thinking about you, you and your body. I’ve wanted to do this for so long. You turn me on so much that I don’t sleep because I’m wishing that you were here to fuck me. Fuck me Jonas”

_Okay wow. I’m very turned on but something here isn’t quite right._

The dream flitted around in fast forward until Jonas was lying on his back, Isak was riding him with passion. Moaning loudly as he rocked his hips.

_OH MY GOD this feels so fucking good, Holy shit this is unexpected and, and, and oh. Oh my god. I know what’s so not right about this. I’m not in love._

_Well does love matter for sex though? No. But this is not what I want from Isak. I wanted sensual and I got hot-stranger-fuck. I’m don’t feel even close to in love with Isak and he doesn’t even like me that much either and that is fucked up._

Jonas felt distant from the guy on his dick and that was fundamentally wrong where Jonas was concerned about sex. It was dream sex but a Jonas was so not down for a one night stand.

Just like that the dream soured. Isak shouted his name when he came and then Jonas came. No frills. No feelings.

He looked at but Isak looked like the bitchy 3rd year girl Jonas had hooked up with a few weekends ago. He blinked and then Isak looked like P. Chris.

_What THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK???!!!  I want out._

Just like that Jonas woke up. He stared at the ceiling with anger that he couldn’t quite explain.

_Oh boy that was weird. Also…Wet dream. Wtf._

On autopilot Jonas got up. He cleaned up. He went back to bed and glared at the roof again. He tried to spare no thought to the dream but it hung around like a bad smell.

_Okay I’ll interpret this bitch so it leaves me alone. This dream says that I’m horny but I want a proper connection with people. Okay that’s standard. And I woke up angry because I hate P. Chris. Fuck that guy. I miss Eva and it’s his fault and lets not even think about Isak in the dream._

Happy with that, the dream fucked off and let Jonas drift off to sleep.

 

**10// Thoughts on Same-Sex Romance and Being Validated**

 

Half a week later on Friday, Isak asked Jonas whether he wanted to join him for a kebab. Jonas knew immediately that he was going to get a whole lot of answers to questions like ‘what is going on with Isak?’ and ‘are the rumours that Isak is gay true?’.

_Sure I’ll get a kebab with you. Call it a date…. Wait no don’t. Oopsy._

They sat there in the park, Jonas told a story from some party until Isak fucking finally came out with it.

“You know that thing about me being a little weird lately?” Isak said.

“Mhm” _Spill the tea. TELL ME._

“it’s-it’s because of a person I like”

_Oooooohhoooo Isaaaaak. DARLING. Oh gosh my inner monologue is getting a bit… flamboyant._

“That, uh- Emma?” Jonas asked.

“No not Emma, guess” The blond shook his head.

“Guess? I can’t guess”

_Why won’t he tell my outright? Is he stalling? He’s got to be stalling. So he’s embarrassed of who he likes. Oh I know…_

“Is it Vilde?”

“Vilde?!” Isak exclaimed. “Who do you think I am? Vilde?!”

_Bro! sorry! I don’t know!_

“Can you just tell me?” He asked, clueless.

“I’ll give you a hint”

_COME ON MAN. TELL ME. ISAK I LOVE YOU (as a friend obviously, duh, completely platonic. 100%) AND I WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT YOU BUT HURRY UP AND TELL ME._

On the outside Jonas remained perfectly calm. He ate his kebab and his thoughts accelerate in a circle.

“A hint?” he ask

“It’s not a girl”

_Yo. That’s a question answered. I’m not reacting weirdly, I’m chill and I’m accepting and Isak does as Isak like and WOOOOOOOOO. HE LIKES A BOY!_

Jonas tried thinking of every guy that Isak could like and every guy that Isak had ever been ‘a bit more passionate about’. He compiled lists in his head that were terribly short.

_Who has Isak been affectionate with? Is there anyone? It’s not one of our friends tho. Who could love a guy like Magnus? Ow that’s mean, Magnus is cool. The only person Isak is openly affectionate with (well in his own way) is… No way… actually… Yo wtf that was so obvious. What if it’s…? Well I’ve got to give the guess a go so…_

“Is it me?”

“You! Nononono. What the fuck?”

_I’m not sure whether I’m relieved or a bit disappointed._

“Yeah I don’t fucking know man. ‘Nononono’ what? Am I completely unattractive or what?”

_Why don’t you like me!? Aw geez. Jonas! Chill! Wouldn’t it be nice to have a camera to stare directly into, break the fourth wall, and rewrite the script that my brain’s decided to follow._

“No, not like that, but. No, its not you”

_So am I attractive to you? Focus Jonas. You’re not here for that._

Is it that guy from Vilde’s revue group?”

“Yeah”

“What’s his name?”

“Even”

_Cool guy._

Just like that Jonas let go of that little something he was holding on to. The tiny sliver of “maybe” or “one day” died peacefully like a 96 year old great grandfather who knew he was going to heaven. It was exciting to see his best friend was hopefully getting some with someone he actually liked, and Jonas felt so fucking honoured that Isak had trusted him. Yes, that was validation and some more for Jonas Noah Vasquez.

_Okay I’m lying but…_

_I’m going to be so supportive of Isak, I’m going to be the most supportive friend their ever was, If he says he’s gay I’m going to be his biggest ally, if he doesn’t want in on gay pride I’m going to be his personal pride parade. #isakpride. If he dates Even then Even is a friend of mine._

But then Isak shocked him again. “He’s got a girlfriend”

_Shit that’s bad. Don’t be a Chris._

“He’s gonna have to break up with her.”

 

**11// The Politics of Weed and The Joy of Meaningless Hook-ups.**

 

Months had passed since Even and Isak had gotten together, Jonas had supported them both and it had been fantastic to see the relationship bloom and grow despite the initial fuck ups. Now the pair were coming out of their honeymoon phase quite healthily which was good, not just because they were happy but because Isak was spending more time with Jonas again, and more time with Jonas without Even there as well.

_Don’t get me wrong, Even is great but he’s kind of really pretentious. He thinks his life is a movie or something. And don’t get me wrong, I really like being friends with Magnus and Mahdi but I can only spend so long around them without getting annoyed at them for something dumb. I miss Isak. You know who I also miss? Eva. We barely talk anymore._

It was a Friday night and Jonas wasn’t actually sure whose house they were at night now. Music was pumping and alcohol was everywhere. It was lit. Whoever’s house it was, they were doing great hosting. Across the room he could see Magnus and Vilde dancing sloppily yet happily. Over by the door to the kitchen he could see Isak and Even chatting and drinking beer. Mahdi had disappeared somewhere but last he’d seen of him was making out with a pretty brunette so Jonas decided not to go look for him. He’d talked to Sana for a bit but it had gotten political, neither had wanted to back down but neither really wanted to be talking politics at a party.

“I could get into politics, I’ll make my own political party! I’ll be the prime minister!” He declared passionately

_The argument was doomed from the start but I can do what I want blehblehblehbeh. Haha._

“No one would vote for you when they realized you’re a stoner”

“A part time stoner!” he corrected

She frowned at him, not taking his bullshit “Still, it’s illegal”.

“Then I’ll legalize weed”

Sana looked like she was about to bite back with 100 reasons why 1)she wasn’t going to judge Jonas for smoking weed (she so did tho) but 2) still was always going to disapprove of it, but Eva came and in her deep intoxication whisked Sana away to go so she could “meet these really funny guys” she has just met.

He waved her goodbye and leant back against the wall, sipping his beer and checking his phone.

“Hey, Jonas”

It was P. Chris, how surprising to see him without a girl tagging along behind him.  

_What the hell does he want?_

“Hey man” He went in for a ‘bro handshake, shoulder-bump combo’ “What’s up”

“Can you help me bring more beer up from the downstairs fridge?”

_Ah, it’s Chris’ house that I’m at right now._

“Sure man” He followed Chris to the locked door of the basement “cool party man” he said as Chris fished out a key from his pocket.

“Thanks, it’s a good crowd. I’m glad I invited your crew to my ‘last party before I join the army’ party”

“Great name for a party” Jonas said sarcastically.

 “Ha-ha, I thought it was okay.” Chris opened the door revealing a thin flight of stairs, he flicked on an annoyingly dim light. “So much has changed since I left school; it’s nice that Isak has finally admitted that he likes boys”

“Yeah, have you met Even? They’re a really good match”

‘I talked to him once; he seems really… out there. Cool though”

_Hang on wait. REWIND. “finally admitted that he likes boys”. How long has Chris known!? WTF._

“Hang on, what do you mean by ‘finally admitted’? You knew?”

Chris flicked on another light at the bottom of the stairs. The basement lit up, there was a ping pong table on wheels right in the middle, against one wall there was a small TV with canvasses and foreign looking ornaments stacked up around it.

_Their probably moved down here into the locked basement to keep them from getting damaged by partygoers._

Facing the TV was a ratty couch that was undoubtedly far more comfortable than it appeared. They walked toward the fridge which sat opposite the TV. “Yeah, I knew for ages”

“How?”

 The fridge opened, flooding the immediate surroundings with white light. “We hooked up a couple of times” Chris said most nonchalantly.

Jonas choked. “No way! You’re kidding” Chris wasn’t looking at him so he couldn’t tell whether it was a joke or not.

Chris just laughed.

“Oh my god, you’re not lying. How come I haven’t heard this before?” Jonas was astounded.

_Isak and Chris? whaaaaaaaat! That actually explains a lot about them hanging out at the end of 1 st year. It is surprising that P.Chris is into guys tho. _

“Probably because you didn’t ask and maybe neither of us wanted you to know, not after the whole ‘Eva thing’”

 Maybe neither of us wanted you to know, not after the whole ‘Eva thing’”

 _Yeah, about that… dick move_  

“Also, it wasn’t that big of a deal, even for him.” Chris said and handed Jonas a case of beers. “Just chuck those on the table for now”. Jonas did as instructed and placed the beer on the ping pong table right behind him “well actually it was a big deal for him, cos he’d never hooked up with a guy before, but if you’re talking about like a relationship or something, it wasn’t anything for him, you don’t need to beat me up for breaking his heart or some shit”

“Huh okay. Wow, the more you know” Jonas said. “I didn’t know you were into guys”

“Oh yeah, I am. Ways more into girls though, ooh look vodka gummy bears. Keep it that stuff I just said under wraps will you though? Isak’s not the only one with a religious mum” Chris passed him a bowl.

Jonas took the bowl and a handful of gummies. “Yeah, yeah of course bro”

_This is probably the most I’ve ever learned about Chris from Chris._

“Did you know that unlike in the movies, LGBT people unconsciously stick together so that instead of there being one gay friend in the group, there’s one straight friend?” Chris finished pulling stuff out of the fridge and turned around

“Really?” Jonas hadn’t really ever thought about the ‘one gay friend’ stereotype before.

“Yeah, my group of friends seems to be an exception, unless they’re all sucking dick in secret without me.” Chris leaned over Jonas to put more beer or the ping-pong table. “But what about your group?”

_He’s in my personal space and he smells like girly shampoo. What is he doing… oh. Ohhh. He’s very clever. He wants to know if I’ll hook up with him._

“Chris, If you’re asking after Magnus then I’m sorry, you can’t hook up with him, he’s got a thing with Vilde.”

“ha-ha dumbass. I’m asking about you. You into guys?”

_Oh my god. I don’t even know._

Jonas shrugged. “I don’t even know man”

_I didn’t really want to think about it because that’s hard to think about and I don’t want to make it a big deal out of it. It was hard enough for Isak, I don’t wish that for myself._

Chris raised his eyebrows “Want to maybe find out?” He trailed a hand up Jonas’ arm, a key move.

_I’m drunk so this is a good idea. That’s it. This is not actually a good idea. Nah. I’m not going to hook up with Fucking Penetrator Chris._

“Nah thanks” He tried to be chill.

“Okay” Chris shrugged and started taking some of the beer over to the stairs.

Jonas regretted his decision immediately.

“Chris”

 “Mhm?” Chris turned around

_Holy shit I’m about to do it._

 “I think I do like guys, I don’t know. It freaks me out”

_He overshared first so it’s okay._

“Jonas you’re a chill guy, why are you freaking you out?” Chris put down the beer.

“I don’t even know man”

_I’m freaking out because I only just turned 17 and only recently have I found some dudes attractive and then I’ve had like 4 sex dreams about Isak now although I don’t even like him that way in real life probably. (yeah let’s just leave that cos I’m not a homewrecker) But I also miss hanging with Eva so much. And why is Chris so attractive right now?_

“Okay, you don’t have to tell me” Chris was standing right in front of him, just a bit to close.

“How do you know your bi?” Jonas instinctively put something between them, the bowl of vodka gummy bears.

“Me? Cos I like girls and then I look at boys like you and think ‘damn I’d tap that’“ Chris reached into the bowl and popped a few of the lollies in his mouth.

_Boys like me. Did I hear him right?_

To describe Jonas as speechless wasn’t really fitting but he really didn’t have any words. Chris offered him a gummy. Feeding him directly and purposely brushing Jonas’ lips with his fingers.

_Chris is really good at this being super attractive thing._

 So Jonas leaned in and let Chris kiss him. Kissing felt good. He put the bowl down and moved his hands on to Chris’ hips. Chris tangled his fingers into Jonas’ hair and broke away for a moment.

“Woohoo Jonas, kissing a boy! Eskild would be proud”

“Ew don’t talk about Eskild otherwise I’ll leave”  

Chris laughed at that before leaning back in with passionate open mouthed kisses.

_Fuck tthats hottt._

One of Chris’ hands migrated down Jonas’ back and squeezed his ass. Jonas really wasn’t used to that kind feeling, he pulled away from the hand, resulting on messily grinding his hips on Chris’. Chris panted out a quick ‘Jesus, Jonas!’

_!!! !!! Geez!!! !!!_

The older boy moved his hands again, up Jonas’ chest, under his shirt. They broke the kiss so Chris could pull Jonas’ shirt of him. He pushed Jonas on to the couch and stood over him.

“You good man?” He asked

“Yes” Jonas was surprised at how breathy he sounded.

“Good” Chris pulled his own shirt off, slowly and teasingly.

_Ooh look, abs. Shit man, look at those pecks. Chris could be a fucking underwear model if he wanted._

Chris climbed onto the couch and held himself up over Jonas. “You’re really hot” He kissed high on Jonas’ neck,

_Kissed is an understatement. That is going to leave a mark. Feels so good tho. Is this how Eva felt with him? Hey now, Hey now, let’s not think about that._

That last thought was a little upsetting but he forced himself to not think about it. He closed his eyes and let himself just enjoy the feeling.

_This isn’t a dream, right?_

“Shit” said someone from the open doorway and ran back up the stairs with heavy footfalls.

Jonas sat up, remembering that he was hooking up with a guy and there was always the threat of consequences for that. Chris also sat up.

“Who was it?” Chris asked

“I don’t know, I don’t even know if they were a guy or girl” Jonas answered.

_Oh my god I did not sign up for this. What if that was Eva? She’d be really freaked out. Maybe. She’s been with both of us. She’ll tell her friends tho. What if that was Vilde? She’d tell everyone. Or Magnus? Actually I could deal with Magnus probably._

Jonas looked quite freaked out so Chris asked “Do you want to stop?” Chris looked uncomfortable too.

_That’s right; he’s not out either._

“Yeah, sorry”

Chris got off him, his boner obvious through his tight pants. Jonas looked down at himself.

_Hooray. Matching, except I’m wearing loose pants that are unbuttoned and halfway off me. When did that happen?_

“Or do you want help with that” Chris looked pointedly at his crotch.

_Yeah. That sounds like a better plan._

Chris closed the door and quickly and discretely they jerked each other off.

_Hey I just hooked up with a guy. it was okay, yeah .It was good._

“Here Jonas” Chris threw him his shirt after they’d cleaned up.

“Thanks”

“So, do you like guys?”

“I guess so”

“Cool.” Chris passed him some beer to take upstairs. “So now I’ve hooked up with you, Isak, and Eva. Your entire old squad.”

“Hey Chris, fuck you”

Chris blew him a kiss and walked out up the stairs.

_I do feel a bit… lonely though. It would be nice to date someone again though, someone who’ll stick around and talk after I make them cum._

 

**12//Some Guys are Just Dickheads and No, This Time it’s NOT Penetrator Chris.**

Eva was off her face and talking to some guys that Jonas didn’t recognize. They leered at her and he knew it was none of his business but he walked over to the group anyway.

“JONAS!” she exclaimed when he came over and gave him a messy hug that almost knocked him over. “Jonas meet… my new friends.” She didn’t even know their names. “Guys meet Jonas, my boyfriend” She gripped his hand so tightly it was painful.

_No I’m not and you’d never say that unless… unless these guys are trouble._

Jonas stared at her, she looked… scared. He kissed her on the cheek. “Yup, that’s me” he said and shook their hands. The guys frowned at him and scowled at him.

“Eva I came over here cos our song is playing” a remix of ‘Closer’ by the Chain-smokers was playing; it was fucking awful, definitely not his song, let alone their song. “Let’s go dance!”

“Bye boys!” she said, smiling a little more than she had been as she moved away from them. She was leaning far too heavily on Jonas for support.

“Fuck man you’re not her boyfriend” One of the guys called out after him, and pushed him.

Jonas stumbled, as he tried to keep Eva upright.

“Cock-blocker” said another one and punched him.

“Leave our ‘Fuck’ alone” said the third and pushed him harder. Jonas started to fall but was held up by someone. Other hands, friendly hands, stabilised Eva.

_Chris and Even. Unusual Combo._

“Oi get the hell out of my house” yelled Chris at the boys once Jonas had regained balance. It was a terrifying sight to see.

The guys scampered.

“Thanks man”

“No problem. Is she okay?”

Jonas looked at Even who shrugged.

“We’ve got it”

Eva reached back over to Jonas who gladly let her lean on his shoulder.

“Thank you Jonas” she whispered in his ear, about to pass out.

_Anything for you Eva._

Even opened a door to a room with a double bed.

“Isak passed out here but I’m sure that neither him or Eva will mind sharing, it means that I can keep an eye on them both”

“Isaaaak!” said Eva, and let herself be put to bed next to him.

_Even’s a really nice guy. wow._

Even turned to him. “Uh Jonas, you’ve got a bit of blood on your face. Will you wait here and I’ll come back with some first aid and fix it up for you”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks bro”

Even left the room beaming for some reason.

_I’ve never called him bro before._

 

**13 // Cuts and Bruises and Some Confessing**

 

Even sat directly in front of Jonas “okay I’m going to clean up some of the blood now”

“Ok” Jonas let him, trusting in whatever books Even had used to teach himself basic first aid.

“Jonas, that was quite brave of you out there”

“It wasn’t really”

“You went up to your ex-girlfriend, risking her and everyone else thinking you were being a jealous bitch and you helped her out anyway. Just because you thought she was in danger”

 _Why are you being so nice to me._ Jonas felt a sting on his cheek. _Ah, that’s why._

“That cut is nowhere as bad as it looks. I’m going to clean it with alcohol now so it’s going to sting”

“Ow!” it did sting

“So, do you still like her?” Even asked.

“You can’t just ask me that man”

“Too late, you’ve given yourself away Jonas”. Even pulled the cotton swab he was using away from Jonas’ face. He picked up a large white plaster looking thing out of the box by his knee. “She’s a nice girl, take another chance, even if you just end up back as close friends it’s got to be better than this.”

_I wonder where Even gets all this knowledge from._

“Ugh, Maybe. Can you pass me my beer?”

“Give me a moment. There, done your face, now here’s your drink” Even bum-shuffled back and packed up the first aid box.

“You’re a cool dude Even” Even beamed at that.

“Thanks, you’re cool too”

“I’m really glad that Isak has a guy like you”

_I’m glad that Isak has you, but ideally maybe he could have no guy at all? Or me? Shit. I gotta shut these thoughts up before one spills out._

“What can I say, I’m really glad I’ve got a guy like Isak, and a friend like you. Though. Can I tell you a secret?”

“Sure?”

_What is this dude up2?_

“You can’t say I said this, but Isak. Isak used to have a huge crush on you” Even giggled like a ninth grade girl.

_Man I’m touched. Omg my heart is so warm._

“Ayy? Really? Well it’s good that moved on to you, someone who’s actually into guys.”

“Uhuh, you gonna tell Chris that?” Evan smirked

“Oh my god. It was you who saw!” Jonas was relieved at that.

“Yeah, I won’t tell anyone so you don’t need to worry”

“Thanks so much bro”

“But, Jonas, I’m quite serious about this. If you are attracted to guys, you should probably tell your gay best friend sooner rather than later. Don’t wait for someone else to tell him”

_Is Even threatening me? He holds all the cards._

“Yeah I hear you bro” Jonas resigned himself to it “I just don’t want word to get out and it to ruin my chances with girls”

“I don’t think Eva would mind” He teased.

“Not just Eva!” Jonas defended.

Even just rolled his eyes at him. “Listen man, I really have to go home now. My parents are worried because I recently had a manic episode and they want to make sure I haven’t gotten on to a plane to Syria to fight ISIS or anything”

_How oddly specific for a theoretical scenario._

“Jonas if you can- if you don’t mind, Are you able to stay and make sure Isak is okay. He drunk a lot tonight”

“Alright, will do. See you another time, Catch you in Syria”

“Goodnight Bro”

Even left.

 

**14// Some Platonic Pillow talk.**

“Halla Jonas?” was the first thing Jonas woke up to the next morning. He turned and saw Isak next to him, then, feeling a body right of him he turned and saw Eva passed out and looking a little worse for wear.

_Last night… I was looking after them? Yes. With Even, but Even went home because.. because I don’t know, I’ll remember later I guess. I must have passed out or fallen asleep here too._

“Good morning Isak, nice to see you awake” He said.

“Nice to see you too” Isak looked around the room, slightly puzzled. It showed on his face.

“We’re still at Chris’, Eva’s here too” Jonas pointed across his body to Eva.

“Oh, okay. What happened last night? Hang on where’s Even?”

“Uh last night, you got drunk, you partied, you passed out and Even brought you here. Then Eva was being harassed by some guys I didn’t know, I fought them”

“You fought them? Jonas, it’s been over a year you can’t be a jealous ex like that”

“Nononono it wasn’t like that, besides, Even helped me.”

“Okay then”

“Chris kicked the guys out of his party and we brought Eva into here and she passed out. Me and Even chilled but he had to leave for some reason. I guess I just fell asleep or here too.”

_Or passed out. Probably passed out._

“Jonas?” It was Eva

“Good morning Eva, Isak is here to.”

“Hello Isak”

“Hey Eva!”

“What happened last night?” She asked.

“You had some really creepy guys trying to get with you, so I got you out of there with Even’s help and then you passed out here with Isak and yeah I must have fallen asleep later”

“Oh my God, I told them that you were my boyfriend so they’d leave me alone. I’m sorry about that”

“Oh well, it’s just like old times. You, me” He gestured between them “and Isak here also”

“Hey! I’m not the lonely single one anymore”

“Yeah where’s your boyfriend now Isak?”

Eva laughed.

“I miss this” she said “the three of us, the crew, before I made better friends”

“Oi” said Isak

“It was a good time back then”

“Yeah, it was” Jonas agreed.

“Hey guys we should go stay at a cabin sometime! #throwback” She said.

“Yeah haha. And also #throwback Eva, remember that really funny time that you cheated on Jonas and hooked up with Chris?”

_What the hell Isak?_

But to Jonas’ surprise she laughed at that.

Eva sat up “Fuck you Isak, what’s funnier is #throwback to that time that you had a massive crush on Jonas!”

_Wowwwwww Eva, it’s too early for drama. But shame on you, half a day too late to surprise me with that._

 “Eva!” protested Isak.

_He looks so distressed right now so I’m going to be a dick and stress him more. I know, I’m mean._

 Jonas turned to Isak, shocked expression on his face. “Isak! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Bro I- I- I’m sorry dude”

Jonas’ plan to react badly to the ‘news’ failed, he burst out laughing. “I already knew, it’s fine. I feel much complimented. Besides, you’ve moved on you’ve got a great boyfriend, he stitched me up after I got into fight last night”

_You’ve moved on but Isak dear, if you hadn’t then maybe you never would’ve needed to._

“How did you know?”

“Even might have told me”

“Even told you? That’s so funny” said Eva.

“Moving on!” said Isak, quick to get the focus off him “So Eva cheated on Jonas, and I liked Jonas, and Jonas… Jonas…”

“Jonas was friends with Elias!”

“Oh God don’t remind me!” He exclaimed “anyway, we’ve all moved on quite far now since 1st year. Eva has friends, Isak is gay with a boyfriend and I…”

“Apart from not being friends with Elias anymore you haven’t changed a bit”

_No, here I am sandwiched between two of my favourite people on earth, back to basics._

“Yeah, yeah, no change, same old, same old”

_Although… Although I hooked up with Chris last night, Fucking Dickhead-Penetrator Chris. That’s quite a big change._

The three of them fell back into comfortable silence.

_Even said that I if I were responsible I should tell Isak that I hooked up with a guy sooner rather than later so he can find out from me. And now… now I’m still a bit drunk and it’s as good a time as any. What do I say? “I like boys too now” no “I think I like guys?” “I’m bi”? That word feels so … weird? No. It feels right. It fits. But… I don’t want Eva to think it’s weird or anything because lying right next to her is reminding me about everything we used to be and I want that back. Let’s just not think about what sleepy, sweet Isak lying on my other side is doing to the butterflies in my stomach. He’s in a relationship and I will never touch that (unless Even actually does leave to fight ISIS)_

_Fuck man! Let it be Jonas!_

_I’m gonna say it._

_What’s the worst that can happen?_

“I hooked up with Chris last night”

“With Chris?” said Eva.

“With Chris Berg? Eva’s friend? Really Jonas. HahahahahaHHAHAAH that’s actually hilarious”

“Hey! Chris is cool!” Eva butted in.

“No. nonnonnono. Not Chris Berg, Chris Schistad”

“You hooked up with Penetrator Chris!?” exclaimed Eva. She was blown away.

“What, like you haven’t?” Jonas made the low blow with pride.

“No. Yes! What I’m trying to say is-“

Isak finished for her “Are you into guys?”

“Um. I think so”

“Are you bisexual?” that was Eva, she like to label things.

“Uh, yeah if I like guys then yes. BUT, I’m still working through it”

“Jonas likes DICK!” Eva squealed.

“Shh” he clapped a hand over her mouth. “Be quiet, shhhhhh”

But Isak was equally excited for him too “Bro, high five!” he shouted.

Eva shushed him on Jonas’ behalf. “So tell me what happened.”

“You want the whole story?”

“Yes, duh”

Jonas shuffled back and propped his pillow against the headboard. Sitting up he said, “Okay but you have to promise that you don’t tell anyone, not even Noora, not Eskild”

“Eskild?”

“Just cos he’s gay doesn’t mean that  me hooking up with a guys is his business”

“alright, I not telling anyone”

“Isak you too”

“Even Even?”

“Even already knows”

“What!?”

“Do you want me to tell you or not?”

“Tell us”

“Chris asked me to help him get some more drinks from the basement, so I followed him there, it was locked but he had the key and we started talking about stuff like how nice it is that Evak is out as a couple. And then he told me that he’d hooked up with guys”

“I knew it!” said Eva

“Since when?” Isak said, disbelievingly

“First year, after we broke up”

“Wow, Eva” Jonas said

“I knew too” supplied Isak

_I’m not going to say why you knew, your secret to share bro._

“Yeah anyway. He said something about how gay people group together and it wasn’t so with his friends but maybe in my group. I kinda realized he was flirting. He was talking in his really sexy voice, really gunning for it, touching my arm like this” he demonstrated on Eva “you know?”

“Yup, classic Chris move” Of course she recognized it.

“So I made a joke about him wanting to hook up with Magnus” Isak stifled a laugh “But he cut to the chase, asked if I liked guys, I said I didn’t really know, which was kind of a lie, and then we hooked up.”

“So... did you suck dick?” asked Isak

“Be quiet Eskild” Jonas told him. That shut him up.

“No, I didn’t. Even walked in on us, but we didn’t realize it was him until he told me much later. So we stopped cos neither of us are out so we were freaked”

Just then the door opened and Chris himself stuck his head round the door.

“Hey guys, just letting you kn- aw you guys look so cute. #throwback to your 1st year”

“Hi Chris” it was painful for Jonas not to laugh at the situation.

“You kids are adorable”

“Chris you can’t call us kids when you’ve hooked up with two of us” said Eva matter of factly.

Chris looked a little hurt to be found out, he scowled at Isak momentarily “All of you actually”

Eva looked surprised.

“Don’t look so surprised, you should have seen Jonas last night” He pinched his thumb and 1st finger together, creating the ‘ok’ sign with his hand. “He was-“

_I feel a little uncomfortable to be talked about like this._

“No not Jonas. I already knew that. ISAK!? WHAT THE HELL MAN. Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Jonas you told them?”

“Yeah, otherwise Even would have”

“Even?” Chris just looked confused, and quite hung over.

“He was the one who walked in on us”

“Oh.

“ISAAAAAAK you didn’t tell me!” Eva screeched.

Eva lunged for Isak, Jonas put his hands up out of harm’s way.

“Ugh whatever” said Chris from the door “There’s breakfast in half an hour for people who stayed over, see you guys then”. He shut the door a little too forcefully.

Jonas pulled Eva of Isak. She fell on him laughing.

“Your such a snake Isak” She said.

“Shhh Eva” he told her and shuffled back into the warmth of the blankets. He cuddled up to him.

 _Wow. This hasn’t happened for so long._  

In a split second decision Jonas stuck one of his arms around Isak and pulled him toward him.

“Eeep!” squeaked Isak at the suddenness but let himself be pulled close.

They lay there for as long as they could and fell back asleep, even being woken up by eye-rolling Chris half an hour later did nothing to ruin the moment because Jonas felt loved.

_Yes, maybe I shouldn’t be half drunk the next morning, cuddling up like this. Maybe it’s wrong to be so very slightly, very much so in love with my best friend who had a boyfriend, and maybe I shouldn’t be in love with my ex-girlfriend. Maybe I shouldn’t even be this in love with two people at once, but that doesn’t matter, because right now I’m happy._

_This was never in the ‘The Jonas Noah Vasquez Guide on How to Dream’ and I know, for reals right now. I’m happy._

**_Fin_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I am proud of this, I'm a stickler for an ending which isn't perfect for everyone but is good all the same. Hope y'all enjoyed it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Readers, thanks for reading Part 1 'Fictionally Kinda Gay' which is (fun fact) my first ever work on AO3! It's been a lot of fun to write and I hope you all enjoyed it. Feedback is welcomed and it would appreciated if you can write criticism in a way that isn't going to make me cry. 
> 
> Part 2 'Non-fictionally Quite Bi" will be up soon so hang in there!


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